Smug expressions. Cocky chuckles. Shocked glares — directly into the camera. These are not just staples of Tucker Carlson’s cable news presence, but also debate tactics that were on full display in a wild recorded conversation with the Washington Post‘s Erik Wemple. Carlson did everything from falsely accusing the interviewer’s wife of throwing “dog feces” at an innocent bystander, to questioning whether or not Wemple actually works for the Washington Post — as he apparently does not understand the difference between the outlet’s print and digital editions. Below are five of the most outrageous segments heard in the nearly 45-minute interview. 1. Carlson Attacks Wemple’s Credentials Wemple is a blogger for the online side of the Washington Post where he runs a media criticism section. But Carlson couldn’t seem to quite wrap his mind around the fact that there is a print and digital side of the Post — even Wemple was lying about working for the newspaper as he had never seen his byline in the physical editions. “How does that work? How do you work there? How do you write for the paper if you’re not in the paper?” Said a tech-confused Carlson — showing his age, as he is nearing the half-century mark. “We have a digital dimension here, too,” explained Wemple. The Fox News host replied, “Oh… You’re on the internet.” Yes, Carlson. That’s right, the interwebs, where the kids use their SnapFace and InstantChat — as the old-school New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick once put it. Obviously, Carlson was attempting to use the fact that Wemple runs a digital page for the newspaper — and not a print edition column — as some kind of sick burn to discredit the writer, but it mostly just made himself seem old and dated. 2. Suggesting Wemple is a “Stalker” In one portion of the interview, Wemple made the point that Carlson loves to repeat the phrase “I’m not defending [insert political figure].” According to data accumulated by the Post writer, Carlson had repeated this line 47 times in the last year — usually with the name “Trump” or one of his lackeys filling in the noun portion of the sentence. When Wemple pointed this out to Carlson, the conservative host suggested he was a stalker for researching his show that closely — which of course, as a media critic, is the Post reporter’s job. “Well, let me say what I am, which is uncomfortable by how closely you’re watching our show. I’m not going to call you a stalker, but that’s kind of the vibe I’m getting a little bit, if I can be honest. I don’t know why—I mean, I’m not especially self-aware,” said Carlson, “I wasn’t aware, for example, that I did that.” 3. Freaking Out at Wemple For Questioning ex-KKK Leader David Duke’s Love For Carlson’s Show Earlier this year, Wemple interviewed David Duke and the former KKK Grand Wizard had — in his racist mind — glowing things to say about Carlson. “I would consider Tucker to be alt-right,” said Duke while expressing his fandom for Tucker Carlson Tonight. Rather than simply disavowing Duke’s support or attempting to reasonably explain why such a nefarious figure might like his show, Carlson lashed out on Wemple for bringing up the topic in the first place. “David Duke! I mean, are you joking? How old are you? [laughter] What are you a child? I think you’re like, you’re not a recent college graduate, I don’t think? I mean, that’s like a kid question. ‘David Duke said something nice about you. Will you disavow David Duke?'” Said Carlson. He went on to say that the younger version of Wemple would “have hated your current self” — a point that the Post reporter chuckled at. “HA HA HA HA HA HA! It’s so stupid!” Exclaimed Carlson. 4. Falsely Accusing Wemple’s Wife of Throwing Dog Feces at a Store Owner If you’ve ever watched Carlson’s show, you know that he loves to seem well-prepared. Most nights, he’ll sit in his chair with a stack of paper notes and a mug with his own face on it. And when it comes to interviews with the “liberal media,” Carlson loves to prove his preparedness by throwing out wild or unexpected questions — typically ones that take opponents off-guard. In his conversation with Wemple, Carlson made the false accusation that the Post blogger’s wife had “once [thrown] dog feces on a store owner.” Wemple’s wife, however, was only arrested for the offense and the accuser and office in charge would later agree that the accusation was untrue. Of course, Carlson only made the untrue claim to justify the fact that he hired a racist blogger to work for his far-right tabloid The Daily Caller, explaining that the writer was more than just the sum of his white supremacist posts. 5. Random Moment of Self-Deprecating Humor At one point in the interview, Carlson threw in a random dose of self-depreciating humor — claiming his always-on-offense hosting style is actually not unique or interesting at all. “I don’t think my debate style is interesting or unique at all. I really don’t. I think it’s very conventional. I am a very conventional person. I am not super smart. I don’t have super high debate skills… No, I’m not being falsely self-deprecating. I’m being totally sincere. Like, I don’t have some sort of brilliant and complex worldview that I’m hiding or something, at all,” said Carlson. In another attempt at humanization, Carlson lamented the times when he was young and “used to drink too much and be obnoxious.” “I hope that my tombstone doesn’t say ‘Guy who drank too much and was obnoxious,'” quipped Carlson. Well, defeating one-out-of-two of those vices isn’t bad I guess. [image via screengrab] Follow the author on Twitter (@calebecarma).