Former secret society frat boy and current candidate for Senate Rand Paul took to Neil Cavuto today to respond to a number of things including charges in yesterday’s GQ profile that in college he tied up a girl and tried to make her smoke pot and then forced her to bow down and worship the Aqua Buddha. Side note: I’ve wondered more than once this week whether between Paul, Steven Slater, Michelle Obama’s trip to Spain, and the Mosque, Shark Week hasn’t taken a hit in ratings.
Back to the Aqua Buddha. When asked about the allegations Rand Paul had this to say:
Please spare us the details. You know they also have pictures of me with an alien. They’re also now saying I could have been abducted by aliens at one point in my college career. [It's unclear whether Paul is trying to make a National Enquirer joke here]. I mean this stuff is just outrageous and ridiculous. No I was never involved with kidnapping. No I was never involved with forcibly drugging people.
Paul also bemoans today’s media that allows anonymous sources to come forward with complaints that he will now have to answer for the rest of the campaign — though, really in the larger scheme of political scandal “Aqua Budha ranks pretty high on the awesome meter. Also, the story is “absolutely not true” and “I absolutely deny kidnapping anyone ever.” Watch below.