Colbert Cold Open Cheerily Mocks Amazon Scrapping NYC Plans


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On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday, the show’s cold open was a shot at Amazon for their decision, apparently in reaction to New York Democrat Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, to scrap plans for a Long Island headquarters. It opened with a news clip of the announcement, and then went into a parody of returning an item at Amazon. Among the reasons in the drop down were “Won’t guarantee union labor” and “will displace historic strip clubs.” But the selection made is, of course, “already saw Jeff Bezos’ package.” NBC News reported Thursday that Ocasio-Cortez in particular, and more broadly other New York politicians, were the reason that Amazon gave for the decision to cancel the New York HQ. Rep. Ocasio-Cortez was very pleased with the decision, saying she thinks it’s “incredible.” The Democratic governor of New York disagreed. Obviously, the NYC-based Late Show sides Continue reading "Colbert Cold Open Cheerily Mocks Amazon Scrapping NYC Plans"

Colbert on ‘Fact-Stater’ Trump: He ‘Can’t Even Remember the Word for Not Lying’


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President Trump‘s remarks to the press on Thursday prompted a lot of news, particularly about his beef with the country’s top intelligence officials, and cable news covered it extensively. The Late Show< with Stephen Colbert mined a lot of material, too, for which you’ll shortly be grateful. Host Stephen Colbert started with the throw-down between Trump and his top intel chiefs Dan Coats and Gina Haspel. Some good jokes in between the clips (watch above) mixed well with the inherent hilarity of claiming that something anyone can watch on video didn’t happen. “What do you mean they were misquoted? There were cameras! It was live. We all watched it,” said Colbert. He turned then to the wall. He played a montage of Trump saying variations on “If there’s no wall, it doesn’t work” and a few other clips. The last was of Trump talking about how House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would react Continue reading "Colbert on ‘Fact-Stater’ Trump: He ‘Can’t Even Remember the Word for Not Lying’"

Colbert: Trump’s the Dog Pelosi Won’t ‘Let Into the House’ Because ‘He’s Going to Poop Everywhere’


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Late Show host Stephen Colbert likened President Donald Trump to a pooch without good potty manners on Wednesday night. After discussing Rep. Nancy Pelosi‘s power move over Trump in which she disinvited the president from giving the State of the Union in front of Congress unless the shutdown ends, Colbert noted that Pelosi did that because she could. He also quipped Trump likes to act like the “big dog.” Then he said this: “[Pelosi]  won’t let the dog in her house because she knows he’s going to poop everywhere, okay. Out! Out! No, out! Ah, geez! Out!” He added: “Pelosi also has security concerns because both the U.S. Secret Service and the Department of Homeland Security have not been funded for 26 days now with critical departments hamstrung by furloughs. Things have gotten so bad that now when you see the Secret Service guys talking into their Continue reading "Colbert: Trump’s the Dog Pelosi Won’t ‘Let Into the House’ Because ‘He’s Going to Poop Everywhere’"

Kirsten Gillibrand Kicks Off Media Blitz on Colbert: I’m Giving 2020 Bid a ‘Long, Hard Thought’


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Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand kicked off a post-midterm election media blitz with an appearance on Stephen Colbert‘s Late Show Thursday night, and said she’s giving a presidential run “a long, hard thought of consideration.” Colbert asked the New York Democrat if she was considering running in 2020, noting she has previously said her focus was on the 2018 elections. “What are you concentrating on now?” Colbert asked. “Is there another election you might be concentrating on, senator… for now?” “I think it’s an important question,” she said. “It is an important question. That’s why I asked it,” Colbert joked. “I believe it is a moral question for me,” Gillibrand said. She then launched into a campaign-style speech that came as close as possibly to announcing a run without doing so. “I believe in right versus wrong and until this election I actually thought that wrong was winning, Continue reading "Kirsten Gillibrand Kicks Off Media Blitz on Colbert: I’m Giving 2020 Bid a ‘Long, Hard Thought’"

Colbert Absolutely Goes In On ‘Bath Salts Spokesmodel’ Alex Jones: His Site ‘Just Lost Their War on Info’


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Over the past 48 hours, Infowars — the Alex Jones-run far-right conspiracy site — has had its content removed from a host of major platforms including; Apple, Facebook, and YouTube. On Tuesday night, Stephen Colbert could hardly contain his glee while reporting the news. “Folks, there was some bad news recently for extreme right-wing conspiracy theorist and bath salts spokesmodel Alex Jones,” the Late Show host said. “Because it looks like his website Infowars just lost their war on info…Now if you want to see one of Jones’ signature rants, you’ll have to be in the next booth at Ruby Tuesday’s when he sees a mother breastfeeding.” Colbert then segued into a sketch featuring his character Tuck Buckford — based on Jones. The premise of the bit was that Buckford, too, was being purged from social media. The character billed his exile as the “martyrdom of old Tuck Continue reading "Colbert Absolutely Goes In On ‘Bath Salts Spokesmodel’ Alex Jones: His Site ‘Just Lost Their War on Info’"

Ethan Hawke: It’s Hard to Sell Movies Without Guns


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Actor Ethan Hawke appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers and dished on the kind of movies that make money, and offered a conclusion based on his career in Hollywood: Guns sell, Hamlet doesn’t. Meyers noted that Hawke told him backstage that Shakespeare films don’t pay much, asking about the correlation between film content and pay for actors. “Shakespeare, no money, but you get really good lines,” Hawke explained. “You do some kind of unmentionable movie that nobody sees and you want people Googling and looking up so you don’t mention the titles, but you get paid a lot for them.” “There’s also a direct equation — you know there have been people talking so much about gun control in this country,” Hawke continued. “And I noticed recently, if you put in a column of every movie I ever did where I carry a gun, and every movie where I Continue reading "Ethan Hawke: It’s Hard to Sell Movies Without Guns"

Stephen Colbert: Maybe Jeff Sessions Invoked ‘White Privilege’ To Dodge Questions


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On the Late Show Tuesday, host Stephen Colbert dedicated his monologue to the testimony of Attorney General Jeff Sessions. “America’s favorite new reality T.V. show: So you think you could testify about Russia,” he joked, while also mocking the Senator’s Keebler elf-esque demeanor. “Everyone had the same question, ‘are you now or have you ever hidden any pots of gold?” The comedian soon dug into weightier matters including perhaps the hearing’s most controversial moment when Sessions declined to answer questions about his personal conversations with Trump despite the latter not invoking executive privilege. Colbert played footage of Sessions saying he only recalled that he “did depart” a meeting with Trump at some time in the past. “We know you departed Attorney General Sherlock. Why won’t you tell us any part of the conversation?” asked Colbert. “You’re not answering even though the president hasn’t claimed executive privilege and Continue reading "Stephen Colbert: Maybe Jeff Sessions Invoked ‘White Privilege’ To Dodge Questions"

‘Please Resign’: Stephen Colbert Calls on Donald Trump to Step Down After Russia Intel Disaster


This post is by Jon Levine from Mediaite


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Yesterday’s bombshell news that President Donald Trump reportedly leaked highly classified information to the Russian government shook the political world. Naturally, the news didn’t go unnoticed by late night talkers — chief among them Stephen Colbert. On the most recent taping of The Late Show, Colbert officially asked Trump to leave office. “I have something to say here. Donald Trump, if you’re watching, you’re a bad president, please resign.” The line drew sustained applause from Colbert’s audience. In addition to the imbroglio over classified intelligence, Colbert also took the president to task over his threat to cancel the daily White House press briefing and replacing it with a bi-monthly press conference which he could personally direct. Colbert could not contain his amusement at the notion. “They’re always such fountains of eloquence and bastions of dignity. What would we make jokes about the next day,” he said with evident sarcasm. Continue reading "‘Please Resign’: Stephen Colbert Calls on Donald Trump to Step Down After Russia Intel Disaster"

‘This is What’s Wrong With Washington D.C’: Colbert Slams Plans to Sell Internet Browsing History


This post is by Jon Levine from Mediaite


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The knives were out on last night’s edition of the Late Show. Host Stephen Colbert took aim at the recent passage of a bill through the House and Senate that would allow Internet providers to sell private user data without their consent. “Anybody here use the Internet?” Colbert queried his audience. “Might want to knock that off. Congress has now voted to allow internet providers to sell your web browsing history” Colbert said he had gone one step further. “I’ve got nothing to hide, I burned my computer this morning.” Joking (but not really) the late night host then moved in for the kill suggesting that the bill was emblematic of everything wrong in government. “This is what’s wrong with Washington D.C,” he said. “I guarantee you there is not one person, not one voter of any political stripe anywhere in America who asked for this.” Continue reading "‘This is What’s Wrong With Washington D.C’: Colbert Slams Plans to Sell Internet Browsing History"

Colbert: Trump Administration Like ‘A Dog Who Spent His Whole Life Chasing a Car’


This post is by Jon Levine from Mediaite


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On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert used his opening monologue on The Late Show to poke fun at paranoia reportedly gripping The Trump White House. “Paranoia has seized the Trump White House,” said Colbert. “I’m surprised. I thought Russia was going to seize it.” Colbert cited a Politico article which suggested staffers were so frightened they were being spied on by a deep state, that some had taken to storing their work phones in drawers after office hours. “This paranoia is just the frustration every new administration has with Washington D.C. It happens every time. You went to Washington, you went to work for Trump because you wanted to tear down the government. Now you have to deal with it. Now you are the government,” suggested the comedian. Colbert then used an analogy to try and explain what was going on. “It’s like a dog who spent his whole life Continue reading "Colbert: Trump Administration Like ‘A Dog Who Spent His Whole Life Chasing a Car’"

Mark Halperin Tells Colbert: ‘I Daydream About What if Nixon or JFK had Twitter’


This post is by Jon Levine from Mediaite


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John Heilemann and Mark Halperin took a moment away from The Circus to stop by the Late Show with Stephen Colbert. With the future of Obamacare on the line and Donald Trump’s allegations of illegal wiretapping from his predecessor, Barack Obama, there was ample fare for discussion.

“I’ve traveled the country a lot since [Trump] got elected,” said Halperin. “There are people who are hopeful and optimistic and think this is the kind of change we need and there are people — adults — who say to me, ‘this is the worst thing that’s happened in my life.'”

While both guests and Colbert expressed skepticism over the president’s wiretapping claims, Heilemann explained why he felt the charge was so grave.

“The President of the United States should be taken seriously and literally,” he said. “When he’s on Twitter and he’s saying things he saying, those are public pronouncements Continue reading "Mark Halperin Tells Colbert: ‘I Daydream About What if Nixon or JFK had Twitter’"

‘I’ve Actually Muted the President on Twitter’: Anderson Cooper Tells Stephen Colbert How he Manages Trump Tweets


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Anderson Cooper took the stage last night as a guest of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert where he made the surprising admission that he personally no longer has interest in President Donald Trump’s Twitter account. ‘I’ve actually muted the president on Twitter,’ he said to laughter. “Don’t tell him.” “You just said that you mute the president of the United States,” said Colbert in semi-disbelief. “I just don’t want to have that drama in my life,” replied Cooper — maybe half jokingly. “I just want to be calm.” Cooper then weighed in more forcefully, saying that constant tweet reporting has become a “large distraction” but that it was a legitimately fascinating view into the president’s state of mine. “This is like a real-time seismograph of the inner workings of the president’s head,” said Cooper. “He’s like a live wire of emotion. We had to wait for decades Continue reading "‘I’ve Actually Muted the President on Twitter’: Anderson Cooper Tells Stephen Colbert How he Manages Trump Tweets"

Late Night Joe: Scarborough Admits That Trump’s First Month ‘Makes It Harder to Call Him Mr. President’


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Joe Scarborough of MSNBC’s Morning Joe traded in his A.M. coffee for some late night laughs Tuesday, appearing on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to discuss the current state of affairs in Trump’s America. But while the former Republican Congressman certainly revers the office of the President — going as far as to say he cheered when Bill Clinton took the oath of office — he noted carefully that much of Trump’s erratic first month has made it hard to recognize he’s actually the President. “The way he’s acted over the past month,” offered Scarborough to Colbert Tuesday, “has made it even harder to call him Mr. President.” Scarborough continued, playing to the liberal crowd inside the Ed Sullivan Theater with talking points that have bipartisan appeal in our unique political climate. “When you have a President of the United States that questions judicial review, and questions Continue reading "Late Night Joe: Scarborough Admits That Trump’s First Month ‘Makes It Harder to Call Him Mr. President’"

Stephen Colbert and Bob Odenkirk Switch Places For Their Newest Project: Late Show: The Movie


This post is by J.D. Durkin from Mediaite


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Despite the fact that Stephen Colbert and Bob Odenkirk may be two of the biggest names in comedy today, the two stage and screen vets each have their comedic origins firmly planted in sketch comedy. Colbert was a resident of the Second City Mainstage in Chicago before debuting on The Dana Carvey Show, while Odenkirk cut his teeth and rose to fame early on as half of the illustrious Mr. Show duo. So it should be no surprise to see Colbert and Odenkirk of Better Call Saul dig into their full-on sketch comedy backgrounds for a wackily heightened bit last night on The Late Show in the sort of segment we rarely see play out on late night comedy today. The two played off a desk segment where Odenkirk was promoting his latest project — titled “Late Show: The Movie” — where he plays host Stephen Colbert himself. The Continue reading "Stephen Colbert and Bob Odenkirk Switch Places For Their Newest Project: Late Show: The Movie"

Colbert: Given Trump’s Black History Month Display, Maybe the MLK Bust ‘Tried to Escape’


This post is by J.D. Durkin from Mediaite


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Much has been made of President Donald Trump‘s performance yesterday at the White House surrounding Black History Month; to mark the occasion, the President was joined by a roundtable of influential black community leaders, though he used the spotlight to continue his war against CNN and its ‘fake news.’ It’s a slight that Stephen Colbert simply couldn’t let go during his monologue Wednesday. The Late Show host skewered Trump’s performance of being flanked by Dr. Ben Carson and Omarosa Manigault — “The two black people he knows,” quipped Colbert — and the fact that he invoked the saga of the missing MLK bust. The Late Show played a clip from Wednesday where Trump said to the roundtable, “You read a month ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office and it turns out that was fake news.” “Yes, it was fake news,” replied Continue reading "Colbert: Given Trump’s Black History Month Display, Maybe the MLK Bust ‘Tried to Escape’"

Jon Stewart Returns to Reveal Trump’s Next Executive Orders Amid This ‘Purposeful, Vindictive Chaos’


This post is by J.D. Durkin from Mediaite


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It may be tough to keep up with the dizzying array of executive orders that President Donald Trump has signed into action in the first week-and-a-half of his administration. But at least we have Jon Stewart to give us a glimpse into the future of Presidential executive actions. The legendary Daily Show host returned to late night Tuesday to appear alongside his old pal Stephen Colbert on The Late Show, donning a dead animal hat and elongated tie. “I thought this is how men dress now,” he told Colbert. “The President sets men’s fashion, and I saw the inauguration.” Stewart’s bit for the night consisted of reading off a number of executive orders that POTUS will soon sign across his desk. For instance, decreed Stewart, “China shall immediately, and without hesitation, send us their wall” (which Mexico will pay for on delivery, by the way). He then whipped Continue reading "Jon Stewart Returns to Reveal Trump’s Next Executive Orders Amid This ‘Purposeful, Vindictive Chaos’"

Is James Corden Taking Stephen Colbert’s Show From Him?


This post is by Lindsey Ellefson from Mediaite


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imageedit_286_8596854072James Corden of Late Late Show and Carpool Karaoke fame, might just be coming for Stephen Colbert‘s seat at CBS’s Late Show, according to Page Six. The chatter has been centered around rumors that the Late Show will head to LA, but insiders countered that they’re simply scouting LA for a week of remote shows with Colbert. One source told Page Six this:
They have been talking about this for a long time, but there’s no chance it could happen before next fall. The talk is that CBS would offer Colbert the chance to do an edgier show at 12:30 a.m., which he is actually more suited to.

Corden and CBS have both denied it, of course, but there is an argument to be made that Colbert would do really well with that “edgier” show at 12:30. [image: screengrab] Lindsey: Twitter. Facebook.

O’Reilly Warns Trump to Stop Whining: No One Cares About Rigged Election Rants


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Bill O’Reilly was Stephen Colbert‘s guest on Monday night’s The Late Show, and the two of them talked about whether it’s politically wise for Donald Trump to go on about the election being “rigged” against him. While O’Reilly acknowledged that the 2016 election is far from normal and there is widespread anger, he opined the election is “not rigged, no.” This comes as a contrast to Trump, who has spent the last several days raving about how the media, the electoral system, and the Hillary Clinton juggernaut are all making plans to commit voter fraud and undermine his campaign. When asked about the upcoming presidential debate in Las Vegas, O’Reilly said that both candidates need to focus on voters, and that means, Trump has to outline his approach to the issues. “Stop whining,” O’Reilly recommended. “Nobody cares about the ‘rigged’ stuff.” Colbert didn’t seem to think Continue reading "O’Reilly Warns Trump to Stop Whining: No One Cares About Rigged Election Rants"

President Obama Prepares His Resume For His Next Gig With Office Manager Colbert


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With just weeks left to go until election day, President Barack Obama appears to have gotten a jumpstart on his moving, since he and his family will be vacating 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in no time. To help with the process, Stephen Colbert assumed the role of Office Manager Randy and ran through some of the Hiring 101s with President Obama. “55… tough time to start over for a man,” says Colbert’s character. The President also needed to answer for the fact that he hasn’t received a promotion of any kind in the last eight years. “To be honest,” he told Colbert, “there wasn’t a lot of room for improvement in my last job.” “The only one with a more powerful position was my wife,” he continued. The whole schtick is the newest piece of evidence to suggest that this president has been the friendliest of the liberal late night Continue reading "President Obama Prepares His Resume For His Next Gig With Office Manager Colbert"

Stephen Colbert Found the One African American Thrilled About a Trump Presidency


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Back when Stephen Colbert anchored The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, SNL great Tim Meadows would appear from time-to-time for a recurring bit as P.K. Winsome, a salesman touting some new fancy product to the Colbert crowd. For the first time since Colbert took over the Ed Sullivan Theater and the desk at The Late Show, Meadows made his big return Wednesday night, now identifying firmly as an eager black Republican and going by a slightly different character name: P.K. Winthrop (Winsome, after all, is Viacom IP no doubt.) “Let me tell you — this black person has never had it better,” he told Colbert firmly in the bit. “Scarcity determines value. As one of the few black Trump supporters, I am solid gold!” Winsome, ever the consummate salesman, lamented the end of the Obama Presidency and all of the lucrative marketing opportunities it gave him Continue reading "Stephen Colbert Found the One African American Thrilled About a Trump Presidency"