Colbert Cold Open Cheerily Mocks Amazon Scrapping NYC Plans


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On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday, the show’s cold open was a shot at Amazon for their decision, apparently in reaction to New York Democrat Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, to scrap plans for a Long Island headquarters. It opened with a news clip of the announcement, and then went into a parody of returning an item at Amazon. Among the reasons in the drop down were “Won’t guarantee union labor” and “will displace historic strip clubs.” But the selection made is, of course, “already saw Jeff Bezos’ package.” NBC News reported Thursday that Ocasio-Cortez in particular, and more broadly other New York politicians, were the reason that Amazon gave for the decision to cancel the New York HQ. Rep. Ocasio-Cortez was very pleased with the decision, saying she thinks it’s “incredible.” The Democratic governor of New York disagreed. Obviously, the NYC-based Late Show sides Continue reading "Colbert Cold Open Cheerily Mocks Amazon Scrapping NYC Plans"

John Oliver Tells Colbert Trump Could Win 2020; Gets Booed


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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John Oliver visited with Stephen Colbert on Monday night and he had some thoughts about surviving Trump in the White House. “We just passed the midpoint in Trump’s hopefully first and only term, and some say the end is in sight,” Colbert said. Oliver warned against such optimism. “To say we’re halfway through his presidency, I think,  is to ignore the possibility of a second term,” he stressed. “We are two to six years away from the end of his presidency.” The audience booed loudly. Oliver then said the Constitution gives us an endpoint. “We all have a finish line like in a marathon that we all stumble over, be covered in a cape and have someone say, you really shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “Which is to stay alive till January 21, 2025?” Colbert asked. Oliver said that is exactly what Continue reading "John Oliver Tells Colbert Trump Could Win 2020; Gets Booed"

Meghan McCain to Colbert: ‘In the Words of Cardi B’ the Trumps Are ‘Going to Have Beef With Me Forever’


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Co-host of The View Meghan McCain was on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday night to discuss her father and her family’s relationship with the Trump family. The interviewed followed remarks by President Trump earlier this week attacking the late Senator John McCain, and his daughter’s responses on Twitter. It was a tough discussion but McCain retained her composure, and even got in a timely Cardi B reference. Host Stephen Colbert noted at the beginning of the interview that he hadn’t spoken to Meghan McCain since her father’s passing, and offered his condolences, saying he was sorry for her loss as well as the country’s. “He was a great man, and you spoke so eloquently at his funeral,” he said. “When you gave his eulogy you said ‘we gather here to mourn the passing of American greatness, the real thing, not cheap rhetoric from men who will Continue reading "Meghan McCain to Colbert: ‘In the Words of Cardi B’ the Trumps Are ‘Going to Have Beef With Me Forever’"

The Late Show Previews the Next Virginia Politician Scandal: ‘We Ate a Drifter Who We Boiled in a Cannibal Cookpot’


This post is by Caleb Howe from Mediaite


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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday satirized the almost-beyond-satire state of affairs in the state of Virginia this week. After multiple Democrat leaders in the state became embroiled in major scandals over a matter of days, it’s hard to think of a fictional next shoe to drop that would top what’s already gone down. But Stephen Colbert and his writers were able to do it. In the format of their fake news feed (LSSC News), the show on Thursday opened with a clip of the actual news about the scandals from CNN. It then cut to their guy: a “Virginia politician” giving a press conference. “As the accounts payable clerk at the Virginia Capitol building, I am 132nd in line for the Virginia governorship,” the skit began. “But knowing how fast Virginia politicians are dropping to scandals, I wanted to get ahead of a story from my past. Continue reading "The Late Show Previews the Next Virginia Politician Scandal: ‘We Ate a Drifter Who We Boiled in a Cannibal Cookpot’"

Bret Baier Recounts Story Behind Montana Car Accident: ‘The First Responders Were Unbelievable’


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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Just weeks ago, Fox News’ Bret Baier was set to appear on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert when he was in a bad accident in Montana. Colbert broke the news on his show. “We just found out that [Baier] and his family were in a car accident in Montana,” Colbert said last month. “Bad, like, jaws of life to get him out of there. They were all in the hospital but they’re going to be OK. And we just want to say: we hope you’re doing better.” Appearing on Wednesday night Baier — looking well — recounted what happened. “We were coming back from a ski trip and I was driving and it was pure ice. We were about a mile from the airport, slipped through an intersection, got hit by a pickup truck, turned and flipped,” Baier explained. His wife and kids were in the vehicle. He Continue reading "Bret Baier Recounts Story Behind Montana Car Accident: ‘The First Responders Were Unbelievable’"

Colbert Mocks Trump’s ‘Cute’ SOTU Rhymes: ‘He Threatened Our Democracy With a Little Poem’


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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One day after President Donald Trump‘s State of the Union, Late Night host Stephen Colbert had some thoughts about Trump’s turn of phrase for the big speech. In one of the highlights (or lowlights depending on who you ask) of the speech, Trump said that there could not be peace in America as long as there was an investigation. Then he said this: “If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation.” The audience booed at Trump’s words. In response, Colbert told them to hold on because it was kind of was “cute” that the president “threatened our democracy with a little poem.” Colbert then offered this poetic offering of his own in his Trumpian voice:
“There once was a Donald from Queens,
Who came from a family of means,
Don’t look into my stuff, he cried in a huff,
Because you’ll find Continue reading "Colbert Mocks Trump’s ‘Cute’ SOTU Rhymes: ‘He Threatened Our Democracy With a Little Poem’"

Watch: Colbert Opens Show with Hilarious Vladimir Putin ‘Response’ to Trump’s SOTU


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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The Late Show With Stephen Colbert started off their special live post SOTU show with a “response” straight from Russia. “Good evening, I’m Vladimir Putin,” a translator says over footage of the real-life Russian president speaking. “I agree with President Trump’s call for unity,” the faux-translator continues on. “Both sides must come together and do exactly what he says…that I told him to say.” The translation then turns to “Putin” saying he agrees with the border wall. “We built a wall in Germany and not one Mexican got into East Berlin,” the voice says. ‘Putin’ then tells Trump to keep doing what he is doing. “I am sure you will,” the translation says, as ‘Putin’ flashes a VHS ‘pee pee tape.’ Finally, after declaring the state of his nipples strong he rips off his shirt and concludes, “Suck it, Adam Levine.” Watch above, via CBS

Colbert Rips Northam: I’m Guessing You Would Remember Wearing Blackface


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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On Monday night, The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert slammed Virginia governor Ralph Northam over the photo in his medical school yearbook showing a person in blackface standing next to another person in a Klan robe and hood. “Now, Northam apologized,” Colbert said, referring to the governor’s first response to the photo controversy. “But when people still wanted him to step down, he had a change of heart — and of memory,” Colbert continued on. He then played a clip of Northam denying it was actually him in the photo. “I am very sorry,” Colbert said in an exaggerated voice meant to be Northam. “Oh, you still want me to resign? I mean, I did not do it.” The comedian then suggested wearing blackface is probably not something that just slips your mind. “I’m guessing wearing blackface is one of those things you would remember doing,” Colbert quipped. “Like skydiving Continue reading "Colbert Rips Northam: I’m Guessing You Would Remember Wearing Blackface"

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer Cameo on Stephen Colbert’s Post-Super Bowl Special


This post is by Josh Feldman from Mediaite


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What do Sir Patrick Stewart, Gritty, and the top Democratic congressional leaders have in common? They all cameoed on Stephen Colbert‘s post-Super Bowl special last night. After Colbert greeted the first two guests for his watch party, Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer showed up––still sharing one podium––in a cameo that ended up being stranger than Gritty’s. You can watch above, via CBS. [image via screengrab]

Colbert on ‘Fact-Stater’ Trump: He ‘Can’t Even Remember the Word for Not Lying’


This post is by Caleb Howe from Mediaite


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President Trump‘s remarks to the press on Thursday prompted a lot of news, particularly about his beef with the country’s top intelligence officials, and cable news covered it extensively. The Late Show< with Stephen Colbert mined a lot of material, too, for which you’ll shortly be grateful. Host Stephen Colbert started with the throw-down between Trump and his top intel chiefs Dan Coats and Gina Haspel. Some good jokes in between the clips (watch above) mixed well with the inherent hilarity of claiming that something anyone can watch on video didn’t happen. “What do you mean they were misquoted? There were cameras! It was live. We all watched it,” said Colbert. He turned then to the wall. He played a montage of Trump saying variations on “If there’s no wall, it doesn’t work” and a few other clips. The last was of Trump talking about how House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would react Continue reading "Colbert on ‘Fact-Stater’ Trump: He ‘Can’t Even Remember the Word for Not Lying’"

Watch: Stephen Colbert Brutally Asks Chris Christie ‘Who Likes You?’


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Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie got a rather rude reception from Stephen Colbert, who concluded his interview with Christie by asking him “Who likes you?” On Tuesday night’s edition of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Christie sat for a lengthy, tequila-soaked interview in support of his new book. While Colbert threw in the odd shot here and there, he pulled out the big guns at the end of the second segment. “Who is your constituency now? I mean, who is– who is– and I’m going to say this in the nicest possible way…” Colbert began. “You know he’s screwing me now. That’s what’s going to happen,” Christie accurately joked. “Who likes you?” Colbert asked. “You do, Stephen!” Christie replied. Pointing to his tequila shot, Colbert said “More of this and I might.” Colbert then pointed out Christie’s historically low 15% approval rating when Continue reading "Watch: Stephen Colbert Brutally Asks Chris Christie ‘Who Likes You?’"

Fmr White House Aide Cliff Sims on Why Kellyanne Conway’s Not Been Fired: Television Loyalty Matters to Trump


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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Former White House aide and author of a new Trump tell-all Team of Vipers Cliff Sims sat down with Stephen Colbert to talk about his new book on Monday. He also talked about the moment — which he tells about in his book — where he caught White House counselor Kellyanne Conway leaking to the press. Conway “calls me upstairs to write a response to some show hosts who were saying that off-air she was trashing the president and wanted me to help her craft a response to that,” Sims  said. “I’m sitting on her Apple laptop in her office trying to type this up and she forgets that she’s sitting there at her desk typing on her iPhone which is synced to her computer. Not good, Stephen, not good.” He added: “It’s a great lesson for everyone. Nothing accidentally good ever happens from synced i-messages.” Sims Continue reading "Fmr White House Aide Cliff Sims on Why Kellyanne Conway’s Not Been Fired: Television Loyalty Matters to Trump"

WATCH: Colbert Mocks Roger Stone Arrest With Cops -Style ‘Bad Boys’ Parody


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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Stephen Colbert opened up his show on Monday with a parody sketch fashioned after Cops. Only this time the ‘bad boys’ were Roger Stone and, as teased for the next episode, Donald Trump Jr. “We’re here to arrest Roger Stone,” the faux-FBI agent says in the sketch titled simply “Mueller.” “He’s easy to spot because he dresses like a Dick Tracy villain, he also has a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back and, I believe, a Henry Kissinger tramp stamp,” he continues on, speaking directly to the camera. “Actually, pretty excited we’re arresting him because I picked him from my collusion fantasy league.” “We’re going in!” he then says before sirens wail. The sketch ends with a tease for the next Mueller episode. “Next week on Mueller,” the announcer in the sketch says, before showing a preview clip of the FBI knocking on the door. Continue reading "WATCH: Colbert Mocks Roger Stone Arrest With Cops -Style ‘Bad Boys’ Parody"

Stephen Colbert: ‘The Definition of Insanity is Donald Trump’


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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On Monday night, The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert offered a new definition of insanity to his audience. The definition, he quipped, is “Donald Trump.” Colbert’s remarks came in the context of his opening monologue talk about Trump “folding like an origami swan” over the shutdown deal. Not everyone, the comedian noted, actually thinks Trump folded, including Colbert stressed, the president himself. He then read this tweet from Trump insisting ending the shutdown without funding for the wall “was in no way a concession”: Then, using Continue reading "Stephen Colbert: ‘The Definition of Insanity is Donald Trump’"

Stephen Colbert Launches Petition for Cardi B to Give State of the Union Rebuttal


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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Late Wednesday, President Donald Trump announced he plans to wait to give the State of the Union until after the shutdown. Yet, whenever the shutdown ends and the State of the Union is back on, late night talk show host Stephen Colbert has an idea who should do the rebuttal for the State of the Union. “I am starting a petition for the Democrats to let @iamcardib give the rebuttal to the SOTU,” Colbert tweeted. “Sign it by retweeting this!” Cardi B is the rapper who made waves when she went to Twitter war with Tomi Lahren recently. She also has very publicly spoken out against the shutdown, taking to an Instagram video to declare our country is a “hellhole” Continue reading "Stephen Colbert Launches Petition for Cardi B to Give State of the Union Rebuttal"

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to Colbert: I Give ‘Zero’ F*cks


This post is by Colby Hall from Mediaite


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Newly sworn-in Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez appeared on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert Monday night and provided a wide-ranging interview for an adoring in-studio audience. The current Congressional “It Girl Person” told host Stephen Colbert about her swearing-in process (she wore white in honor of the original suffragettes) and spoke in general about life as the youngest elected House member. The social media star also gave tips on how to be best, telling Colbert ” “Rule No. 1 is to be authentic, to be yourself and don’t try to be anyone that you’re not,” adding “So don’t try to talk like a young kid if you’re not a young kid.” “Don’t post a meme if you don’t know what a meme is—that was literally my advice, and I said don’t talk like the Founding Fathers on Twitter.” Colbert noted her status as a lightning rod for conservative critics Continue reading "Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to Colbert: I Give ‘Zero’ F*cks"

Colbert: Trump’s the Dog Pelosi Won’t ‘Let Into the House’ Because ‘He’s Going to Poop Everywhere’


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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Late Show host Stephen Colbert likened President Donald Trump to a pooch without good potty manners on Wednesday night. After discussing Rep. Nancy Pelosi‘s power move over Trump in which she disinvited the president from giving the State of the Union in front of Congress unless the shutdown ends, Colbert noted that Pelosi did that because she could. He also quipped Trump likes to act like the “big dog.” Then he said this: “[Pelosi]  won’t let the dog in her house because she knows he’s going to poop everywhere, okay. Out! Out! No, out! Ah, geez! Out!” He added: “Pelosi also has security concerns because both the U.S. Secret Service and the Department of Homeland Security have not been funded for 26 days now with critical departments hamstrung by furloughs. Things have gotten so bad that now when you see the Secret Service guys talking into their Continue reading "Colbert: Trump’s the Dog Pelosi Won’t ‘Let Into the House’ Because ‘He’s Going to Poop Everywhere’"

Colbert Says Rep. King is Caustic Like Bleach: ‘They Both Want to Turn Everything White’


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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On Friday night, Stephen Colbert ripped Rep. Steve King after his remarks on white nationalism — and follow-up statement — sparked controversy. “[Paul] Manafort isn’t the only shady Trump supporter having a big week,” Colbert began. “We also heard from Iowa Congressman and man asking if this Klan robe makes his ass look fat, Steve King.” He continued on: “Long before Donald Trump, King was a trailblazer of harsh, xenophobic immigration policies. He was like the Jackie Robinson of thinking Jackie Robinson shouldn’t be allowed to play baseball. King also pitched the idea of a border wall way before Trump did, and even once took to the House floor to show off his homemade model of an electrified barbed wire fence.” Colbert the quipped: “If you’re looking to purchase some of Steve King’s other racist knick knacks, check out his crafting website, ‘Natsi.'” The audience applauded. Continue reading "Colbert Says Rep. King is Caustic Like Bleach: ‘They Both Want to Turn Everything White’"

Watch Kamala Harris Nodding Her Head Yes While Saying She ‘Might’ Run for President


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Despite the word “might” in her response to Late Show host Stephen Colbert on Thursday, Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA_ made it more than clear that she does indeed intend to run for President in 2020. In the shared ‘wink-wink’ moment, Colbert asked his guest after the break about why she would write a book before a big election, and could it hint at anything. “Senator, let me ask you this — many people who put out books two years before a presidential election do so to introduce themselves in a broad way to the American people,” he said. “Um — are you going to run for president?” It was the context of the reply that made the sale. Laughing with a sort of ‘you know the answer’ face, Harris nodded several times and finally replied, “I might!” “You might,” said Colbert as Harris’ continued to laugh. “Alright, there Continue reading "Watch Kamala Harris Nodding Her Head Yes While Saying She ‘Might’ Run for President"

Stephen Colbert Slams Tucker Carlson: ‘He’s Nothing If Not a Little Racist Who Could’


This post is by Tamar Auber from Mediaite


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Late Show host Stephen Colbert did not hold back when talking about Fox News host Tucker Carlson on Wednesday night. In fact, he said he’s “nothing if not the little racist who could.” The comment came while Colbert was talking about Carlson’s controversial immigration remarks that have sparked advertisers pulling out. “Carlson’s already got a reputation for flirting with racism, but last week, he took it to a racy new level,” Colbert said. He then aired a clip of Carlson saying immigrations would make America “poorer and dirtier.” Colbert continued on: “Now if just listening to him say that makes you feel dirty and more divided, you’re not alone. Tucker got a lot of heat for those remarks. But he’s nothing if not a little racist who could, and he came chuggin’ back up that hill on Monday with a new reason he doesn’t like immigrants: He just Continue reading "Stephen Colbert Slams Tucker Carlson: ‘He’s Nothing If Not a Little Racist Who Could’"